While the Supreme Court debates the merits of DOMA and California’s Proposition 8, local and state polling data show that an overwhelming amount of men support same sex marriage, as long as it’s between two chicks.
Locally, 97% of men supported the right for members of the LGBT community to legally enter into marriage as long as those members of the LGBT community were women. “Yeah,” said local accountant, Steve Powers, “of course a couple of hot, young, babes should be able to get married. Why isn’t this legal already?” When asked about those members of the LGBT community who were not women, Powers added, “Frankly, I never get past the ‘lesbian’ part so…”
In the 18-24 year old male demographic, support is even higher – 99% approval, in fact. “Hellz yeah,” shouted fraternity member, Steve-O Schnedecker, “I’m all for girl on girl action! Bring it on, bro!” When asked about same sex marriage for men though, Schnedecker balked, “No, no, no, man. Two dudes? That’s totally gay. Two chicks, though? That’s totally hot.”
Support amongst the male gender seemed to cross racial, political and religious lines. “It’s an issue of equality,” said Pastor Timothy Schmidt, “and I see no reason why members of the LGBT community cannot enter into the loving bond that is marriage. I mean, as long as those two are women. Preferably, very attractive women. You know, more Portia de Rossi, less third base for the softball team.”
Arch conservative and LaCucaracha councilman, Brad Simmons, stated that if some of the things he’s seen on the Internet about lesbians are true, he’s all for same sex marriage, “as long as it’s between two chi--, I mean women.”