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-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)
Texas Cockroach Headlines
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Local Restaurant Owner Not Yelling Enough To Have Successful Business

Local Restaurant Owner Not Yelling Enough To Have Successful Business

Santiago Gomez, owner and general manager of legendary local restaurant, Gomez Mexican Food, has recently seen a slight slide in profits for his family’s long-standing bu...

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City Council Ponders Abolishing Rules, Regulations and Laws

City Council Ponders Abolishing Rules, Regulations and Laws

Student council president, Leslie Pickett, caused quite a stir at last week’s city council meeting. Pickett, a young political junkie, has been following local, state and...

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Unsolicited Advice From Old People: You Want A Medal Or A Monument For Your 8th Grade Graduate?

Unsolicited Advice From Old People: You Want A Medal Or A Monument For Your 8th Grade Graduate?

Hello, readers,

I’ve been terribly busy removing the plastic from the furniture in the sun room and then covering the furniture in the sitting room. The seasons seem to ch...

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Michael Sam Withdraws From Draft Saying NFL Is 'Too Gay'

Michael Sam Withdraws From Draft Saying NFL Is 'Too Gay'

In a stunning development, SEC defensive player of the year and former Missouri defensive end, Michael Sam, has withdrawn his name from consideration for the NFL draft in...

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Spurs Loss Disappoints Man Who Wanted To Set Couch On Fire in Celebration

Spurs Loss Disappoints Man Who Wanted To Set Couch On Fire in Celebration

San Antonio resident and self-proclaimed “huge Spurs fan,” Carl Rodgers, experienced a great deal of disappointment after the Spurs recent loss in the seventh game of the...

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This Wonderful Week In...

This Wonderful Week In...

…2005: A petition to overturn the county’s dry status failed by one signature when alcoholic Randy Laiton refused to sign the petition because the petition was a public d...

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Christian Comics Help Identify Half-Ass Believers

Christian Comics Help Identify Half-Ass Believers

The bit’s pacing was spot on. The joke’s set up moved along perfectly, building and building to the crescendo that would lead to a flawless punch line. “First Corinthians...

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Employee Ruins Pizza Party – And All Future Parties – For Everyone Else

Employee Ruins Pizza Party – And All Future Parties – For Everyone Else

Dear Editor,

It’s inevitable. In offices around the world, there’s always that special someone: the man or woman who ruins office parties for everyone else. Typically, it’...

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Around LaCucaracha

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Just Headlines

 

Mack Brown Considering Offer as Head Busboy at Vince Young Steakhouse

 

Ray Lewis Involved In Two Murders In Personal Post Super Bowl Tradition

 

Wait, The Boy Scouts Weren't Totally Gay Already?

 

Rick Perry Forms Exploratory Committee for Confederate Presidential Bid

 

Mesothelioma Victim Still Hasn't Called Toll-Free Number

 

Best House on Block Moving to Other Block

 

Local Man Considering Buying 4th Trailer

 

Local Man Keeps 40' Gooseneck Hooked Up 'Just In Case'

 

Eula McMurtry Has Pleasant, Twenty Minute Conversation With Person Who Dialed Wrong Number

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