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-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)

Austinite Detained After Ordering Meal Without Meat

Austinite Detained After Ordering Meal Without Meat

A man from Austin was detained at the LaCucaracha jail over the weekend after he caused a disturbance at the world famous Gomez Mexican Food restaurant. The incident occu...

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City Council Ponders Abolishing Rules, Regulations and Laws

City Council Ponders Abolishing Rules, Regulations and Laws

Student council president, Leslie Pickett, caused quite a stir at last week’s city council meeting. Pickett, a young political junkie, has been following local, state and...

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Beloved Mother in Heaven Still Doesn’t Get Facebook

Beloved Mother in Heaven Still Doesn’t Get Facebook

In an effort to recruit writers for the Texas Cockroach , we recently held a séance in our offices to contact former staff writers who have passed away. The only response w...

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Jason Collins Plays Basketball Like Normal Person Even After Admitting He's Gay

Jason Collins Plays Basketball Like Normal Person Even After Admitting He's Gay

Jason Collins, recently signed to a 10-day contract by the Brooklyn Nets, became the first openly gay player in a major American team sport when he entered a game against...

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Spurs Loss Disappoints Man Who Wanted To Set Couch On Fire in Celebration

Spurs Loss Disappoints Man Who Wanted To Set Couch On Fire in Celebration

San Antonio resident and self-proclaimed “huge Spurs fan,” Carl Rodgers, experienced a great deal of disappointment after the Spurs recent loss in the seventh game of the...

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This Wonderful Week In...

This Wonderful Week In...

…2005: A petition to overturn the county’s dry status failed by one signature when alcoholic Randy Laiton refused to sign the petition because the petition was a public d...

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Christian Comics Help Identify Half-Ass Believers

Christian Comics Help Identify Half-Ass Believers

The bit’s pacing was spot on. The joke’s set up moved along perfectly, building and building to the crescendo that would lead to a flawless punch line. “First Corinthians...

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Employee Ruins Pizza Party – And All Future Parties – For Everyone Else

Employee Ruins Pizza Party – And All Future Parties – For Everyone Else

Dear Editor,

It’s inevitable. In offices around the world, there’s always that special someone: the man or woman who ruins office parties for everyone else. Typically, it’...

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Around LaCucaracha

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Just Headlines

 

Mack Brown Considering Offer as Head Busboy at Vince Young Steakhouse

 

Ray Lewis Involved In Two Murders In Personal Post Super Bowl Tradition

 

Wait, The Boy Scouts Weren't Totally Gay Already?

 

Rick Perry Forms Exploratory Committee for Confederate Presidential Bid

 

Mesothelioma Victim Still Hasn't Called Toll-Free Number

 

Best House on Block Moving to Other Block

 

Local Man Considering Buying 4th Trailer

 

Local Man Keeps 40' Gooseneck Hooked Up 'Just In Case'

 

Eula McMurtry Has Pleasant, Twenty Minute Conversation With Person Who Dialed Wrong Number

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