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-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)
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Newcomer Runs Out of Ideas to Charge More for Barbecue‏

Newcomer Runs Out of Ideas to Charge More for Barbecue‏

Kai Lambert's quest to bring upscale comfort food to LaCucaracha appears to have run its course.  In the past year, the mysterious owner of Fatty's BBQ has repeatedly raised prices, using every possible gimmick to justify each increase.  But after one final gospel brunch ($25) this Sunday, the mercurial eatery will yield to local tastes and return to the same mediocre food and acceptable prices that had been just fine with everybody since 1948.

Lambert had managed similar transitions in Austin and Dallas, most recently at "Mama's Cupboard" in Richardson where he paired all-organic chicken fried chicken ($32) with a champagne toast, served in an authentic chicken's nest.  But he surprised the restaurant community by leaving big city pretensions behind for the culinary simplicity of a small town.  “I was tired of re-imagining down home food for hipsters,” Lambert said in a 2007 interview. “I knew when I tried to serve meat loaf with a vegan Thai theme, that it was time to get back to basics.”

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Hot New Brand Dominates Holiday Marketplace

Hot New Brand Dominates Holiday Marketplace

Every year a group of products rises above the rest turning civilized parents into crazed, obsessed shoppers willing to do just about anything to seize that perfect gift....

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Gideon Bibles Mysteriously Appear in School Lockers

Gideon Bibles Mysteriously Appear in School Lockers

The same time every year, a miraculous event occurs at all LISD campuses. Between 2nd and 3rd period, all students discover a free Bible from the Gideons has appeared in ...

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ED Ads Spark a Rise in Local Protests

ED Ads Spark a Rise in Local Protests

The Secret Society of Wives Against ED Treatment (SSWAED) staged another round of protest today. In an act of civil disobedience, the Secret Society overloaded the prescr...

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Dinner at 5, Luby’s Coming To LaCucaracha!

Dinner at 5, Luby’s Coming To LaCucaracha!

Sources have confirmed that the building under top secret construction at the corner of Alamo St. and Moses Austin St. is, surprisingly, a Luby’s Cafeteria.  The site has...

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Snuggie Wearing Family Mistaken For Druids, Run Out Of Town

Snuggie Wearing Family Mistaken For Druids, Run Out Of Town

Last Friday, the Shanahan family, Doug, Julie and daughter Cindy, decided to take in a movie at the LaCucaracha Palace Theatre.  Because the historic movie house can be a...

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LaCucaracha Inn Resident Ghost Eli Johnson Threatens to Leave

LaCucaracha Inn Resident Ghost Eli Johnson Threatens to Leave

The Texas Cockroach received an urgent request from the proprietor of the LaCucaracha Inn to come to the Inn’s library for an emergency interview. When we arrived, a tran...

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Soccer Mom’s Adult Novelty Toy Indirectly Causes Explosion

Soccer Mom’s Adult Novelty Toy Indirectly Causes Explosion

Shockwaves rocked the streets of LaCucaracha today convincing most of the population the terrorist attack repeatedly predicted by 6th Pentecostal Church Pastor Jacobs had...

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3 Dead In Pizza Hut Caused Riot At Gomez Mexican Food Restaurant

3 Dead In Pizza Hut Caused Riot At Gomez Mexican Food Restaurant

Everyone between Amarillo and Brownsville knows the best Mexican food in the state is at the famous Gomez Mexican Food restaurant, right here in LaCucaracha.  Sadly, for ...

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Grandmother Smiling, But Still Disappointed You Didn't Call

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