Just about everyone perfects his or her driving wave long before they leave La Cucaracha High School. Variations include the one finger, two finger, four finger, and gunslinger wave. Most old timers have learned it’s best to wave at everyone to be safe.

A few years ago, Johnny Wallis won the Texas Lottery and bought a little sports car that sat low to the ground. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see the faces of drivers of pickups and SUVs, and was confused whom to wave at until they had passed. People assumed he was just being uppity, and six months later, the ostracized Johnny Wallis left town and was never hear from again.

Arnie Wiesenthal has been County Commission for the last 25 years, but was recently upset by a narrow margin in last week’s election. It all started when Arnie’s hand got caught in the screen door when a storm blew in and crunched the fingers of his driving waving hand. Arnie promised his wife, Bernice, he’d stop by Dr. Sterling’s office to get it X-rayed if it didn’t feel better by the afternoon.

Arnie was on his way to work, when his niece, Haley Swartz, drove past him, waving out the window. Arnie is her favorite uncle, but he couldn’t move his waving hand as hard as he tried. Haley was distraught by the apparent snub, and was nearly in tears by the time she returned home from dropping her kids at school. She tried to call her Uncle Arnie’s cell phone, but once again, his fingers couldn’t move quickly enough to hit the answer button. In tears, Haley called her husband, Mike, at work, but he assured her it was probably nothing. Haley suspected it might have something to do with her father-in-law, Bud, running against Arnie for his County Commissioner seat.