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-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)
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Community College Student Conquers World with TOS Box

Community College Student Conquers World with TOS Box

Shaun Johnson, a sophomore at McLennan Community College in Waco, has successfully conquered the entire civilized world with a simple legal maneuver. “My dad’s a lawyer, so I know all about that stuff from listening to him yak on the phone all the time about work,” said Shaun.

“Shaun just never realized his full potential – until now,” said his father Bill, “If he would have applied himself in high school, he could have gotten into a much better Jr. College, but I think he wanted to allow enough free time for gaming. I think gaming is a long-term lifestyle for Shaun, so it’s a good thing he acknowledges this, and allocates his time accordingly.”

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Aggies Feel Abandoned by Whataburger Promotion

Aggies Feel Abandoned by Whataburger Promotion

Whataburger, a popular Texas fast food chain, celebrated its 60th birthday this week by giving free burgers to customers who dressed in orange. Bright orange is the signa...

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Sarah Palin Mauled By Mama Grizzly

Sarah Palin Mauled By Mama Grizzly

Sarah Palin sustained serious injuries yesterday after a mama grizzly attacked her while filming an endorsement advertisement for Texas Governor, Rick Perry.

The spot was ...

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Local Man Learns the Ugly Truth About Homelessness

Local Man Learns the Ugly Truth About Homelessness

Carl Hunsaker had seen plenty of television and newspaper articles on the plight of the homeless in America, but it took a recent trip to the big city for this LaCucarach...

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Arizona Plans to Relocate State to Canadian Border

Arizona Plans to Relocate State to Canadian Border

Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer, announced today that she plans to relocate the state of Arizona above portions of Montana and North Dakota on land previously occupied by Ca...

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Republicans Shooting Democrats To Prove Healthcare Reform Doesn’t Work And Democrats Liking It

Republicans Shooting Democrats To Prove Healthcare Reform Doesn’t Work And Democrats Liking It

Standing outside an Earth Day gathering in Austin, Danny Grimes, a conservative Republican, readied his small caliber rifle and took aim at a “liberal Democrat.”  Grimes ...

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LaCucaracha Hunting Education Foundation Easter Egg Hunt Announced

LaCucaracha Hunting Education Foundation Easter Egg Hunt Announced

The LaCucaracha Hunting Education Foundation (LHEF) will host its annual Easter Egg Hunt on Easter Sunday after church, 2:00 pm, at the Fairgrounds. The event will featur...

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Baby Sling Spokesperson On Recall: They’re Using It Incorrectly

Baby Sling Spokesperson On Recall: They’re Using It Incorrectly

Earlier today, an announcement was made regarding the recall of over one million “baby slings” for the Infantino “Sling Rider” and the Wendy Bellissimo “Infant Sling.”  D...

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Jimmy Buffet Serenades Concert Goers With Criticism Of Corporate Risk Management While Warren Buffet Heads To Margaritaville

Jimmy Buffet Serenades Concert Goers With Criticism Of Corporate Risk Management While Warren Buffet Heads To Margaritaville

Houston, TX

In what many observers are calling an incident that could only be described as “Freaky Friday,” Warren and Jimmy Buffet apparently switched places last Friday ...

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Around LaCucaracha

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Just Headlines

 

Listener Disagrees With DJ's Assertion That He's Going To Enjoy The Loggins & Messina Coming Up

 

First Armadillos Two-A-Day Practice Draws 75,000 to Jackie Sherrill Stadium

 

FBI Searching for Man Who Allegedly Fired Rifle in Vicinity of Gulf Oil Spill

 

Joe Barton Apologizes To Bin Laden For Making Him Hide In A Cave

 

All Squeaking Mysteriously Stops Along Gulf Coast

 

BP Oil Spill Expected to Reach Amarillo by Morning

 

Scouts Repeal Controversial "Don't Scratch, Don't Smell" Policy

 

Eighth Grader Declares Magna Carta 'Not All That'

 

Eula McMurtry Has Pleasant, Twenty Minute Conversation With Person Who Dialed Wrong Number

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