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-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)
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Texas Secession News

Community College Student Conquers World with TOS Box

Community College Student Conquers World with TOS Box

Shaun Johnson, a sophomore at McLennan Community College in Waco, has successfully conquered the entire civilized world with a simple legal maneuver. “My dad’s a lawyer, so I know all about that stuff from listening to him yak on the phone all the time about work,” said Shaun.

“Shaun just never realized his full potential – until now,” said his father Bill, “If he would have applied himself in high school, he could have gotten into a much better Jr. College, but I think he wanted to allow enough free time for gaming. I think gaming is a long-term lifestyle for Shaun, so it’s a good thing he acknowledges this, and allocates his time accordingly.”

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Arizona Plans to Relocate State to Canadian Border

Arizona Plans to Relocate State to Canadian Border

Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer, announced today that she plans to relocate the state of Arizona above portions of Montana and North Dakota on land previously occupied by Ca...

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Obama's Counter-Secession Plan

Obama's Counter-Secession Plan Members of a covert advance team from the Obama administration were spotted having lunch at Granny’s Café today. “I think they were trying to pose as ordinary citizens, ...
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Secession Resolution Passed

Secession Resolution Passed

 The Lacucaracha City Council unanimously passed a resolution supporting Gov. Perry’s calls for secession. Although the mayor and city council have no jurisdiction or inp...

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Around LaCucaracha

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Just Headlines

 

TCR Editors Consider Changing Name To Tyler Perry's Texas Cockroach

 

Listener Disagrees With DJ's Assertion That He's Going To Enjoy The Loggins & Messina Coming Up

 

FBI Searching for Man Who Allegedly Fired Rifle in Vicinity of Gulf Oil Spill

 

Joe Barton Apologizes To Bin Laden For Making Him Hide In A Cave

 

All Squeaking Mysteriously Stops Along Gulf Coast

 

BP Oil Spill Expected to Reach Amarillo by Morning

 

Scouts Repeal Controversial "Don't Scratch, Don't Smell" Policy

 

Eighth Grader Declares Magna Carta 'Not All That'

 

Eula McMurtry Has Pleasant, Twenty Minute Conversation With Person Who Dialed Wrong Number

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