The City of LaCucaracha will be hosting what promises to be the most exciting golf tournament in decades at the Municipal Course, Dec 15. Fifteen years ago, the city passed an ordinance deeming the golf course a “no hunting zone,” after several near fatal incidents between golfers and hunters that resulted in the destruction of Mayor Meyer’s gas powered EZ Go golf cart.
During this time, the deer have learned to stay within the safe zone while procreating and multiplying their numbers. Attendance numbers at the municipal course have plummeted with the large herds and the non-stop procreation on the fairways.
“Golf used to be a family sport,” said Abigail Hamilton. “It’s like an orgy out there now! I don’t want to explain why those deer are wrestling to my 8th grader at 8:00 am on a Saturday.”
“I like to think that I offer real world solutions to real world problems,” said Mayor Meyer. “This golf tournament will help raise money for the City Animal Shelter, while reducing the deer population on the golf course.”
The Trophy Buck Golf Tournament will award donated rifles from Alamo Firearms to the top buck taken on each hole, and an AK-47 awarded to the overall top buck. Lone Star Taxidermy and Mel’s Meat Processing will offer onsite services at the event.
The rules specify only regulation golf clubs and balls may be used during the hunt/golf tournament. No modifications will be allowed, including modified potato cannons that shoot golf balls. Bucks must be certified deceased and not merely unconscious to qualify for prizes. Bludgeoning deer with golf clubs is also strictly prohibited.