NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell announced today that the NFL is taking preemptive measure to avoid future referee lockouts and strikes. Borrowing from the popular game show, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire,” if the review booth is still unsure about a call, they can just ask the audience, and the majority opinion will rule. “This ensures the greatest happiness among fans will be achieved, based upon the concept of Utilitarianism made famous by philosophers John Stuart Mill and Jeremy Bentham.”
Goodell stated that the NFL plans to license the technology at exorbitant rates to political campaigns for real time feedback from a crowd. “Often politicians make assumptions when pandering to an audience, but sentiments may be radically different in reality. With the ‘Ask the Audience’ thing-a-ma-jig, a politician can change his stance in the middle of a speech and salvage votes from the podium.”
Comissioner Goodell revealed this was a pilot program designed to eventually eliminate the need for NFL referees. He assured the skeptics that this new interactive experience would be available to all "notoriously neutral, evenhanded and objective NFL fans," not just the home field ticket holders. “When you think about it, the Romans used this strategy when entertaining similar sized crowds at the Coliseum. The fans would signal a thumbs up or down and Caesar would make the final call. We’re just using technology to bring back a fan favorite,” said Goodell.
A NFL spokesman said the league anticipates a lengthy court battle between itself, “Who Wants to be a Millionaire,” and the City of Rome for the rights to use this approach, but “It’s a price we’re willing to pay to save a few hundred grand a year on refs. Plus, by charging for votes, we anticipate raising millions in additional revenue.”