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Home Columns Ask A Contractor - Roy Hutton Roy Hutton: Don't Settle For Old Hags

Roy Hutton: Don't Settle For Old Hags

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Roy HuttonHey, Roy,

Jimmy Springfield here. Listen, recently we've done a few jobs for people on a pretty tight budget. You know, these places need a whole lot more work than what they're willing to pay for. In other words, they want me to put a band-aid on a job that needs quintuple bypass surgery. Any suggestions on how to deal with these sorts of clients?

-Jimmy

Jimmy,

You sound like a young buck, so let an older, wiser contractor give you some sage advice: I never got a job from a poor man. Make sense? Your problem, son, is you keep taking work from people who can’t afford to pay for your services. I like to think that these customers are like big city perverts who want the Park Avenue escort service run out of a fancy hotel (saw it in a Jean Smart Lifetime channel movie) but all they can really afford is the 65-year old toothless hooker who just might be a dude. Well, you know what? Let them take their business to those dirty old hags, Jimmy, because you’re a high priced call girl and you should conduct your business that way. Hope this helps.

-Roy

P.S. But if you’re desperate for work and have to “whore out” and take some of these jobs, just caulk the hell out of everything and don’t sign any guarantees or other dumb stuff like that.

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