LaCucaracha native, Fred Donnelley, 85, died of a myocardial infarction while dining for lunch at Armadillo BBQ Tuesday. But that’s not the good part of the story.
When emergency vehicles pulled up in front of LaCucaracha’s finest BBQ joint, employees at that insurance company no one can ever remember the name of – you know the one, across the street from Armadillo BBQ – began a guessing game as to whom the emergency was for, based on the cars and trucks in the Armadillo parking lot.
The game was instigated when claims adjuster, Laurence Mulroney, expressed that he’d put his hard earned cash on the ambulance being there for Toby Cunningham because “he’s easily over three bills.” When office manager, Quinn Quigley, queried Mulroney as to how he knew Toby was there, Mulroney simply pointed out that Cunningham’s Ford F150 was in the eatery’s parking lot.
“After that,” said assistant manager of the liability department, Jimmy Jeffrey, “it was ‘game on.’”
Soon, the entire staff was staking out spots around the office windows, picking out vehicles of the elderly, obese, chronically ill and sometimes violent.
“No, no,” said field agent, Scott Brooks, “old Francine Womack’s Delta 88 is there. I’ll bet that old battle axe finally spit the bit.” Brooks’ boss, Annette Arnold, shot Brooks’ theory down stating that Womack “will never die.” Arnold had her money on Terry Robinson who, according to Arnold, subsists entirely on pork and ice cream, sometimes mixed together in a blender.
The prevailing theory came about when it was noticed that newly divorced couple, Laura and Greg Easton’s vehicles were both in the parking lot. Mulroney explained, “There was nothing mutual about that split. They not only fought over custody of the kids, they fought over custody of miscellaneous office supplies. Yeah, it was that bad.”
The discussion about the Eastons devolved into speculation as to what Greg and Laura had done to each other. This caused the entire office to overlook Donnelley’s 1986 GMC truck in the parking lot. Donnelley had recently suffered a heart attack and had just been released from the hospital last week.
Jeffrey lamented when Donnelley was being brought out on a stretcher, “Man, how could I have missed Fred’s truck?”