A busy intersection with no homeless person manning the corner in inner city Austin has been discovered by local citizens. The discovery is thought to be the first of its kind in over a decade.
“It was crazy,” said Freddie Laidlaw, “because I was sitting at the light for quite a while and it occurred to me that I had not been accosted for loose change or forced to avert my eyes from a bearded man with a cardboard sign explaining his current station in life and a spunky mutt by his side.”
News of the intersection spread quickly as thousands of Austin commuters were driving through the intersection even if it wasn’t on their route.
“I just wanted to see what it was like to wait at a light and not have someone try to clean my windshield with an old paper bag,” said Jennifer Foreman.
John Washington was able to procure a soda at work with the money he saved by not giving his change away to a professional homeless person. “It was awesome,” said Washington, “to have some change in my pocket. Usually, I give in and hand it over to some guy with a ‘will work for food’ sign or one who has a ‘need beer money’ sign because, you know, that’s hilarious.”
No one can say how the intersection rid itself of wandering vagrants, and no one is willing to publicize its location. “We just want to keep it like this as long as possible,” said Laidlaw.
“It’s heaven on earth,” said Gene White. “It’s such a relief to sit at a light and not be haunted by the visions of the drifter I killed all those years ago. Wait, did I say that last part out loud?”