Local dude, Ben Wagoner, revealed today that he feels “totally obligated to be excited about the new Mumford & Sons album. In fact, the obligation is so strong, I’ll probably end up buying the damn thing when it comes out.”
Mumford & Sons revealed that their new album is complete, and due to be released in September, while talking to Rolling Stone magazine backstage at the Pinkpop festival.
The news was quite a blow to rock n’ roll fan, Wagoner, who said, “I guess I knew this day would come. Honestly, I was hoping those guys would have a little ‘Gallagher brothers’ in them and break up before a second album. Why do they have to get along while Ray and Dave Davies can’t? It’s just not fair.”
Wagoner bought the Mumford & Sons debut album, Sigh No More, on the multiple recommendations he received from his friends and family, in addition to reading all of the critical acclaim the band garnered. “Everyone told me that I had to hear this great new band,” said Wagoner, “because they might save rock n’ roll. After one listen, though, it was a total WTF. I mean, I just don’t get it. Their follow up should be called, Inexplicably Popular.”
Because everyone else is so pumped about the new material, though, Wagoner feels obligated to be excited too. “These are my friends,” said Wagoner, “and the thing is, they usually have really good taste in music. I don’t want to rain on their parade. Plus, I’m a loyal fan, I sort of feel like I have to follow these guys now. Man, I wish they’d just break up or something.”
Wagoner said that he should have learned his lesson after buying “that Ray LaMontagne CD” that another friend recommended. “The other day,” continued Wagoner, “on Facebook, a friend had a post that said, ‘Remember where you were the first time you heard Ray LaMontagne?’ I was like, I sure do, because I threw up in my mouth when I heard it. I almost posted that, but I figured, who am I to judge? If people like that candy-ass music, more power to them.”
Thanks to John Vondrak for the inspiration and a couple of choice lines
Share Link: 
