What started out as your average, run of the mill, incredibly boring Facebook post, has ignited a month long feud between LaCucaracha mothers of all generations.
In early September, Linda Roundtree, 35, and mother of three, posted the following as her Facebook status:
OMG! So incredibly busy! Up until midnight baking cookies for Tristan’s bake sale. Dropped the kids off at school, put in a full day at the office, took the kids to soccer, gymnastics and piano, respectively, and had to have dinner ready and get dressed for Bob’s business dinner at our place. And then Bobby Jr. came down with the flu! I don’t know how I do it!!!!!
When friend and fellow mom, Melany Combs, came across Roundtree’s post, she was inclined to ‘like’ the status, but then reconsidered. “It occurred to me,” said Combs, “that you don’t get to say that about yourself. That’s like the night Sally DuPriest got drunk and declared herself a MILF. You just can’t do that. If one of the young construction workers from Sintown says you’re a MILF, fine, but you don’t get to bestow that honor on yourself. Same with Linda’s post. Hey, it’s tough for all of us to be a mom in today’s world. If Linda’s husband wants to post that on Facebook, that’s all good, but there’s a big difference between ‘I don’t know how she does it’ and ‘I don’t know how I do it.’”
“I would say something like that,” said Bob Roundtree, Linda’s husband, “but then my friends would be mad at me for raising the bar. You know, they’d then have to say something like that about their wives. Don’t get me wrong, Linda is an incredible mom, but going on and on about that would just open a can of worms I’m not interested in dealing with right now.”
Roundtree responded to Combs’s comments, “What does she know? That bitch is a stay at home mom! And her baby can’t read. I don’t know if they can’t afford the DVDs or if that four month old is just that far behind.
Southern Methodist University professor of Sociology, Dr. Beth Schlechter, says that it is only natural for a mother to be proud of her parenting skills. And it’s only natural for her to want to discuss or commiserate the trials and tribulations of motherhood with other mothers. However, she also pointed out that it’s all relative. “Mothers need to remember,” said Dr. Schlechter, “that mothers have been being mothers since early in the Pleistocene epoch. When they start to think that they are ‘all that’, they may want to think about what a mother had to go through around 10,000 years ago. Maybe fighting traffic to get your kid to ballet on time is tough, but probably not as hard as protecting your infant from, say, a saber-toothed cat on your way back to the cave to see if the male of your species has been able to start a fire to cook the beast he hunted with a homemade spear all day.”
Our own columnist, Gladys Loeffler, 98, even chimed in on the dispute. “These young mothers today,” said Loeffler, “always bragging about what they do. With all of their modern conveniences like automobiles, medicine and indoor plumbing is it really that hard? Working moms? Ha! Try milking cows and killing your dinner for a week and tell me how you feel about it then. This Roundtree filly reminds me of those football players who dance and pose after making a routine tackle. Tackling is your job and is no cause for celebration as if the troops have returned home from the Pacific theater. It’s the same thing with being a mom. In my day, we did it and kept it to ourselves. Our husbands and families never complimented or appreciated us either, but we never expected it. I drove by the Roundtree’s place yesterday and little Bobby Jr. was shooting pecans at my truck with a slingshot. Linda was nowhere to be seen. I guess she was too busy congratulating herself on that Facebook.”