An apparent speed dial mishap has triggered Texas A&M University’s exit from the Big XII so that they may join the Securities and Exchange Commission.
According to sources in College Station, TX, A&M President, R. Bowen Loftin, believed he was speaking to the office of Southeastern Conference Commissioner, Mike Slive, but was instead talking to the office of Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman, Mary L. Shapiro.
While some of the conversations between the parties contained awkward moments of confusion and silence, nothing so outlandish was ever said to render the talks anything other than a normal business transaction.
Shapiro simply thought Texas A&M was going public by offering an IPO some time during the winter of 2012. Loftin thought he was sticking it to the University of Texas by joining the most powerful football conference in the United States, the Southeastern Conference.
All of this because Loftin’s smart phone had Slive’s number under “SEC” and Shapiro’s number under “S.E.C.”
Miscommunication or not, the deal is done, and the Aggies are headed to the Securities and Exchange Commission, the Big XII is most likely a dead conference walking, the Longhorns still have their own network and the Southeastern Conference will still set its sights on a sixth straight national title in football.
Slive, speaking from Southeastern Conference headquarters, said he was baffled by all of the talk about A&M coming to his conference. “It was strange,” said Slive, “because I hadn’t spoken to anyone at A&M since the last conference shuffle go-around. Anyway, I wish A&M well on their new endeavor.”
As for Shapiro, she was happy to have the Aggies aboard. “It will be quite nice,” said Shapiro, “to have the ‘Wrecking Crew’ aboard to dish out punishment when investors go afoul of transactional or compliance law with regard to publicly held company shares.”