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Home Letters to The Editor Your Letters Feral Hog Symposium Draws Standing Room Only Crowd

Feral Hog Symposium Draws Standing Room Only Crowd

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feral pigsDear TCR Editors,

I want my money back.  I attended the feral hog symposium held last Wednesday and I, along with the rest of the standing room only crowd, got ripped off.

I admit that I attended the conference with trepidation.  I mean, can you really talk about feral hogs from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m.?  I found out the answer to that question the hard way.  See, I do have a feral hog problem, and I figured these “experts” could shed some light on how I go about ridding myself of these trouble-makers.

Turns out they had no more expertise than I did.  The gist of the whole seminar, believe it or not, was that you either trap them or shoot them.  Or both, I suppose.  Hell, I’ve been trapping and shooting the sonsabitches for over 40 years.  Tell me something I don’t know!

The majority of the proceedings were spent talking about corn.  They even had a round table about the various types of corn you could put out to attract the hogs - horn corn, washed corn, re-washed corn, Mr. Buck corn (with soy), etc.  It got to the point where I was reminded of that movie, Forrest Gump, when Bubba goes on and on about the different kinds of shrimp one can make.

I guess the big draw for the event was the special guest speaker, Wolfgang Puck.  He did a whole hour on the best ways to prepare the corn to attract more hogs.  I quit listening to him after he said that using re-washed corn would “attract a higher grade of hog, a more discerning boar, if you will.”  The man has clearly never been around an actual living feral hog.

Anyway, what a rip off.  Let me save my fellow citizens the fifteen bucks if this thing becomes an annual event: trap ‘em or shoot ‘em.

Sincerely,

Ned Peterson

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