Dear TCR Editors,
I want my money back. I attended the feral hog symposium held last Wednesday and I, along with the rest of the standing room only crowd, got ripped off.
I admit that I attended the conference with trepidation. I mean, can you really talk about feral hogs from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m.? I found out the answer to that question the hard way. See, I do have a feral hog problem, and I figured these “experts” could shed some light on how I go about ridding myself of these trouble-makers.
Turns out they had no more expertise than I did. The gist of the whole seminar, believe it or not, was that you either trap them or shoot them. Or both, I suppose. Hell, I’ve been trapping and shooting the sonsabitches for over 40 years. Tell me something I don’t know!
The majority of the proceedings were spent talking about corn. They even had a round table about the various types of corn you could put out to attract the hogs - horn corn, washed corn, re-washed corn, Mr. Buck corn (with soy), etc. It got to the point where I was reminded of that movie, Forrest Gump, when Bubba goes on and on about the different kinds of shrimp one can make.
I guess the big draw for the event was the special guest speaker, Wolfgang Puck. He did a whole hour on the best ways to prepare the corn to attract more hogs. I quit listening to him after he said that using re-washed corn would “attract a higher grade of hog, a more discerning boar, if you will.” The man has clearly never been around an actual living feral hog.
Anyway, what a rip off. Let me save my fellow citizens the fifteen bucks if this thing becomes an annual event: trap ‘em or shoot ‘em.
Sincerely,
Ned Peterson
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