TexasCockroach.com LLC

Wednesday
Apr 16th
Text size
  • Increase font size
  • Default font size
  • Decrease font size
-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)
Home Letters to The Editor Your Letters Porn Flicks Confused With Corn Flakes

Porn Flicks Confused With Corn Flakes

E-mail Print PDF

Editor’s note: The TCR opened up the reader comments section of the letters to the editor section but, once again, after only one letter, had to shut it down immediately.  However, in the interest of journalism, we have left (what we could, at least) the comments posted after Mr. Peterson’s letter.

Dear TCR,
I am fully aware of the rumors circulating around town about me.  Specifically, that I have an addiction to video taped pornography.  I can assure you, and all of your dear readers, that I do not, in fact, have any such addiction.

However, that being said, I can see how the rumors got started, and I can certainly see why said rumors spread like proverbial wildfire.

Yes, I did end up paying for, and bringing to my home, a full box of pornographic video tapes including the disturbingly titled Star Trek IV: The Search For C*** and C*** Tale.  But there is a logical explanation for how this happened.

As most in town know, I do my grocery shopping at Dallas Martin’s Ice House out on Sam Houston Street.  One morning last week I discovered I was out of corn flakes.  And I had a real desire for corn flakes on this particular morning.  So, I hopped in my truck and headed to the store.  In my haste, I failed to put my hearing aid in.  Plus, I didn’t put my glasses on either since I hate to wear them when I’m just driving around town.  I reached the store and Dallas asked what I’d like.  I told him I’d like a box of corn flakes.  I didn’t know it at the time, but what he said in return was, “Porn flicks?  Are you sure?”  I replied, “Yes.  A whole box of them.”  Now, I’ve known Dallas for nearly 60 years but I had no idea he kept such a product on hand.  I did find it strange he had to go way back in the back of the store to get my order, but really didn’t give it a second thought at the time.  Dallas then said, “One box of porn flicks.  You want that on your tab?”  As I also failed to bring my wallet, I said, “sure, put it on the tab.”  So, you see, I never knew until I got home.

Everyone in town also knows that Dallas is hard of hearing but refuses to get a hearing aid.  One can easily deduce from the above how this misunderstanding took place.  As for Dallas carrying porn flicks in his store, well, I’ll have to let him explain his side of things.  I just wanted to clear my side of the story up.

Yours truly,
Frederick Peterson


Reader Comments:

Jackdanielsman / 3/31/2010 2:12 a.m. CST

Edit.

Jackdanielsman / 3/31/2010 8:56 a.m. CST

Sorry.

DiscountDallas12 / 3/31/2010 9:12 a.m. CST

First off, congrats to Fred for owning a thesaurus.  We all know you don’t talk like that letter you just wrote so enough with the froo-froo language.  Listen, Fred, you might not have heard me, and you might not have been seeing straight, and you may not have seen the price put on your tab but one thing you had to know is that a box of porn flicks weighs a lot more than a box of corn flakes.  Furthermore, it’s not like you returned the tapes or made a complaint to me.  That’s right, TCR readers, Fred never brought the “offending” tapes back.  And it’s been over a week.  I stand by my sale.

boyz / 3/31/2010 9:22 a.m. CST

Dallas Martin's sux!  It sux, man!

FredGarvinMP6 / 3/31/2010 9:42 a.m. CST

Fine.  Sure, I kept the tapes.  I’m a widowed old man.  What’s the harm?  There, I said it.  I watch a little porn.  But let me tell you something, Dallas.  The quality of those tapes is crap.  The picture was all grainy and the audio was muffled. Most of it had to be at least ten years old. There were even a few Beta video tapes in there.  Some of the boxes didn’t match the tapes.  If you’re the only game in town I’ll have to go elsewhere.

Anonymous / 3/31/2010 9:43 a.m. CST

First!  Aw, man, I thought I’d be first.

sunshinegirl / 3/31/2010 9:46 a.m. CST

I love the Dallas grocery place.  Don't be a hater, boyz!

Funlovinpastor316 / 3/31/2010 9:58 a.m. CST

Hey, FredGArvinMP6, Dallas’ stuff is crap compared to the HD porn you can order from Adam and Eve.  Or even some of the stuff off the premium cable/satellite channels.  I guess it’s the convenience factor that enables Dallas to sell at these ridiculous prices. If a customer really needs it right away, they aren’t going to wait days for it to arrive by mail or drive over to Sintown. I think Dallas fills that niche and that’s why he’s able to sell inferior product at an inflated price.

Truluvwaits69 / 3/31/2010 10:11 a.m. CST

What did you think of C*** Tale?

Doctorproctor / 3/31/2010 10:13 a.m. CST

Removed by admin.

Technolovin86 / 3/31/2010 10:14 a.m. CST

FYI…the Munchies Lair out on 102 has a great selection of adult entertainment.

Tim / 3/31/2010 10:20 a.m. CST

Removed by admin.

Sexysarahsixtynine / 3/31/2010 10:21 a.m. CST

Removed by admin.

DiscountDallas12 / 3/31/2010 10:27 a.m. CST

The tape quality sure didn’t stop you from watching all the tapes, Fred.  And as for Mr. funlovinpastor, all I can say is, buy local!

 

Share Link: Share Link: Bookmark Google Yahoo MyWeb Del.icio.us Digg Facebook Myspace Reddit Ma.gnolia Technorati Stumble Upon
 

Around LaCucaracha

gl-8.jpg
Banner

Just Headlines

 

Mack Brown Considering Offer as Head Busboy at Vince Young Steakhouse

 

Ray Lewis Involved In Two Murders In Personal Post Super Bowl Tradition

 

Wait, The Boy Scouts Weren't Totally Gay Already?

 

Rick Perry Forms Exploratory Committee for Confederate Presidential Bid

 

Mesothelioma Victim Still Hasn't Called Toll-Free Number

 

Best House on Block Moving to Other Block

 

Local Man Considering Buying 4th Trailer

 

Local Man Keeps 40' Gooseneck Hooked Up 'Just In Case'

 

Eula McMurtry Has Pleasant, Twenty Minute Conversation With Person Who Dialed Wrong Number

Please Share!

deli.cio.usDiggFacebookGoogle BuzzLinkedinMySpaceredditStumbleUponTwitter


Texas Cockroach on Facebook

Twitter


Humorfeed Member





humoretc.com

Texas Cockroach Online Store

Who's Online

We have 5 guests online