The same time every year, a miraculous event occurs at all LISD campuses. Between 2nd and 3rd period, all students discover a free Bible from the Gideons has appeared in their lockers – even locked ones. It has become somewhat of a game for students to try to spot a Gideon in the act, but theories vary about what a Gideon actually looks like. “I think they’re kinda like tooth fairies,” said 4th grader Emily Roberts. “No one’s ever seen one, but we know they exist.”
High School Principal Granger likes to share his “Gideon story” with students. “I was away at an education conference in Dallas, and neglected to pack my Bible, so I used the trusty Gideon Bible from the nightstand drawer. After a late night of scripture reading, I absentmindedly placed the Gideon Bible in my suitcase. Rushing to checkout, I realized my error when I reached the hotel elevator. I rushed back to my room to return it, opened the nightstand drawer, and lo and behold, there was a new Gideon Bible. I wasn’t gone more than 30 seconds.”
This time of year, it never fails that a group of mischievous high school seniors take naïve freshmen out in the woods for a “Gideon hunt.”They instruct the freshman how to properly thump a Bible to attract a Gideon, and then abandon the students in the woods, miles from town. Early the next morning, bleary-eyed 14-year olds begin stumbling back into town vowing to repeat the hazing ritual when they become seniors.
LISD Superintendent Johnson said he appreciates the Gideon gifts, but there is obviously a much greater need for Bibles over at Sintown ISD. He explained according to the last census, the average LaCucaracha household had 36 Bibles. “We considered boxing up the Bibles students wished to donate, and sending them to the troops to distribute to those poor Islamist children. That plan fell apart when the State Department found out and made a big stink – worthless government bureaucrats.”
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