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May 26th
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-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)
Home Church Local Issues 1st Baptist Considers Suit Against 2nd Baptist Church Over “We’re #1” Softball Title Claim

1st Baptist Considers Suit Against 2nd Baptist Church Over “We’re #1” Softball Title Claim

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2nd Baptist ChurchA spokesman for the 1st Baptist Church confirmed that they are considering a law suit against the 2nd Baptist Church following 2nd’s victory in the La Cucaracha Interfaith Softball League Championship. In the wake of their first ever championship in the all-faith softball tournament, an ecstatic 2nd Baptist Church printed t-shirts and bumper stickers to celebrate their accomplishment.

The 1st Baptist Church is preparing to assert that 2nd Baptist is trying to confuse potential worshipers into believing that 2nd is actually 1st. “What would happen if some terrorist in Lebanon sees our banner ads on AlJazeera.com, realizes he’s doomed to hell, flies to LaCucaracha, sees them standing in their vestibule with a giant “We’re #1” foam finger and thinks he’s found the 1st Baptist Church? It’s false advertising and just irresponsible,” declared the 1st Baptist’s spokesman. “And it’s not just Muslims, it could be any of the [finger quote] “doomed religions” like Jews, Buddhists, or Catholics.”

2nd Baptist’s Jacob Whitten believes, “They’re just sore losers. They’ve been looking down their noses at us since we opened our doors. They complained about noise when we were the first to use live animals in our nativity scene, and they will tell you to this day that we stole their mile in the Adopt-A-Mile litter program. It’s just sad. It seems the only thing we agree on anymore is that Joseph Smith was a stinkin’ liar.”

It’s unclear at this point if 1st Baptist’s law suit will actually go forward, but First United Methodist is rumored to be, “loving every minute of it.”

-Submitted by TCR contributor David Shellhorse

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