Jenny Janecek, LHS Student Council President, proposed replacing homecoming mum corsages with breast cancer awareness ribbons for the big game and dance. “You know, I thought, wow, these guys spend a ton of money on these big, tacky mums, when like, that money could be going to a good cause,” said Janecek. “I thought we could, like, sell the ribbons for the same price as the mums, and give the extra to charity – then Principal Granger started acting all crunk about it.”
Principal Granger did confirm Janecek had been offered the choice of being expelled or impeached as president for her radical ideas. “Those mums are a longstanding tradition at LHS. My great grandmother, grandmother, mother, and wife all wore the exact same style of homecoming mum, and we’re not about to change a tradition like that at LHS under my watch. Styles come and go, but homecoming mums are something you can count on year after year, said Granger.”
Granger argued that his opinion didn’t really matter, since article 52A, section 125 of the Parent’s Edition of the LISD Student Handbook strictly “prohibits the use of the word ‘breast’ in any class or school sponsored activity including Health Class.”
Granger also pointed out, "Without the mums it, would be hard to identify the los- I mean, girls without homecoming dates. Also, what would we replace the jingling and jangling cowbells, metal footballs and cowboy hats with? Cancer ribbons don't jingle and jangle."
Janecek suggested the Texas Cockroach investigate Principal Granger’s motives, since his wife Betty owns the only florist in town, and is the exclusive supplier of those “hideous mums.” Principal Granger responded that no conflict of interest existed, and after all, “high school is not a democracy, young lady.”
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