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Home Community City Council ‘Vice Flight’ Affecting LaCucaracha Population

‘Vice Flight’ Affecting LaCucaracha Population

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Seven deadly sinsThe LaCucaracha City Council (LCC) called an emergency meeting (again) to address an unforeseen detriment of Sintown’s recent legalization of marijuana use and gambling: citizens of LaCucaracha moving to Sintown.

LaCucaracha Mayor “Buddy” Meyer termed this migration southward, ‘Vice Flight’, and voiced his concern that if the rumours he has been hearing are true, then LaCucaracha could have a real crisis on its hands.  Several in attendance demanded Mayor Meyer divulge the nature of these rumours.  After deliberations, Mayor Meyer stated that word from his snitches in Sintown is that prostitution is up next for legalization.  At this point, Council member, Brad Simmons, could be plainly seen mouthing the word ‘awesome’ to fellow council member, Robert Wilson.

When the word, ‘prostitution’ was uttered, chaos erupted.  Mayor Meyer, with the assistance of Deputy Rodriguez, was finally able to calm the attendees down and proceed with the meeting.

“Look,” shouted Mayor Meyer over the fray, “just like you, I had no idea so many of our fine citizens partook in the shameful vices of booze, drugs and gambling.  But let me tell you something, if they legalize prostitution over there…we might not have a town left.  I mean, the flesh, the sins of the flesh, skin…and skin on top of skin and flesh and such, well, I don’t, uh, need to tell you, legs – long, bare legs – and to have them, um, be able to, uh, partake in the way of the legs and the flesh and the bosom…”  A clearly ruffled Mayor Meyer then trailed off and sat down.

Councilman Wilson advocated letting the sinners leave town so that those that remained would be the purest of the pure.  This was met with uncomfortable silence and awkward glances throughout the hall.  Councilman Simmons then submitted the idea of legalizing prostitution before Sintown did.  This idea was also met with uncomfortable silence but very stern, as opposed to awkward, looks.

Mayor Meyer, finally recovered, then took to the podium again.  “I know that ‘white flight’ is what put this town on the map, but this ‘vice flight’ could take us right back off.  Something has to be done.”  Councilman Simmons interrupted by pointing to his watch and telling Mayor Meyer that the evening football practice was about to begin.  Mayor Meyer asked that the discussion be tabled for a later date.  The council agreed unanimously and the meeting was adjourned.

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