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May 23rd
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-LaCucaracha's Only News Source Since 8000BC-(Give or Take a Millennium)
Home Community Sheriff's Report Sheriff's Call Log Report - Tuesday

Sheriff's Call Log Report - Tuesday

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McCain Palin sign8:32 a.m. – “Non-Caucasian” reported on square having breakfast with Coach Bryant – Deputy Rodriguez explained that it was the new Armadillos offensive coordinator, Mr. Alexander, and that if the caller did anything to jeopardize Mr. Alexander staying around longer than one season there would be hell to pay.  Caller stated that Deputy Rodriguez didn’t know who he was so he wasn’t worried.  Deputy Rodriguez then stated the caller’s name and address to which the stunned caller replied, “How did you do that?”  Deputy Rodriguez deftly explained that new, space age technology available only to law enforcement and Home Land Security personnel, allows him to identify anyone who calls in

9:48 a.m. – Putty knife reported stolen – Deputy Rodriguez took report

10:13 a.m. – Loose cattle – Deputy Pine responded

10:37 a.m. – Lax cattle – Deputy Pine responded

11:18 a.m. – Unfastened cattle – Deputy Rodriguez responded

12:02 p.m. – Willy-nilly cattle – Deputy Pine responded

1:49 p.m. – Subject walking in rich guy’s view from house on hill.  Sheriff Welch (after Deputy Pine and Deputy Rodriguez spoke to caller) explained that unless the caller bought all the land in his viewing area there was nothing illegal about this

3:13 p.m. – Possible identity theft.  Deputy Pine explained that ‘Current Resident’ wasn’t an actual person and that no identity theft had occurred

4:22 p.m. – Unattended livestock – Deputy Rodriguez responded

8:05 p.m. – Heinous act of vandalism committed by shoe polishing “They lost” over a McCain/Palin sign – Deputy Pine apprehended 13 year old female subject fleeing scene.  When asked why she did it, subject responded, “OMG, that sign is sooooo 2008.  Move on, people!”

8:32 p.m. – Contained livestock – Deputy Rodriguez took report and noted caller was simply confused and alarmed that the cattle were not loose on the road

9:58 p.m. – Possible burglary – Deputy Pine responded and discovered Jimmy Hanson was attempting to enter the wrong house - again

10:22 p.m. – Theft of discarded wood – Deputy Pine took report – argument ensued about whether or not wood was being thrown away or not

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