John Mclittle emerged from his Y2K shelter into his family’s living room last Thursday to find his wife Sally ironing while watching the news. He looked around stunned that everything appeared to be normal. “I tried to get you to wait and see if anything happened before sealing off that door,” Sally told him. “Nothing happened. I banged on that door for three days, but gave up when you wouldn’t come out.”
A bewildered John Mclittle sank into his recliner and turned his attention to the television. “Why’s Saturday Night Live on in the morning?” he asked. “I recognize that Stuart Smalley guy, Al Franken, but not the other two cast members.” Sally clarified this was not a SNL episode, but a press conference. “Al Franken is now a senator that gives the Democrats a filibuster proof majority in the Senate, and that woman is the speaker of the house, and that black man is president.” At this point John stood up, grabbed the sports section from the Texas Cockroach, and climbed back into his Y2K shelter, sealing the door behind him.
Sally told the Texas Cockroach that the fire department had offered to cut the door off with the Jaws of Life, but she politely refused. “It’s actually been great for our relationship with him down there. Honestly, I had forgotten all about him until that door opened. He’ll come out when he’s ready. Everyone knows you can’t rush ole John.”