Dear Texas Cockroach,
Last night I was shot again. The thing that galls me about this shooting in particular is that it was at point blank range. I mean, what was the point of that? There was no sport to it, no challenge. It’s not enough I have to put up with you punks shooting at me every other drunken weekend but now from only five feet away? Come on! Man up! You’re just wasting ammo.
Listen, I understand that my remote locale is quite enticing, but I know for a fact I’m not the only street sign out here. There’s a stop sign less than a quarter mile away for instance. Or, how about the low water crossing sign just down the road? Why me over them? I know I’m just a sign and my mental capacity isn’t that of, say, the intellectual giants who combine drinking, firearms and driving all in the same night, but I just can’t get my thin, metallic skull around why it’s always me. Any attempt at an explanation would be welcomed.
In the meantime I’ll just go back to minding my own business, warning drivers about the turn ahead of them. But, I would like to warn anyone out there who’s thinking of using me for target practice. Rumor has it some scientists at Texas A&M University are working on a bullet resistant material – nee, a material impervious to bullets! – that will be used by the great state of Texas on all street signs in the near future. So if I bounce one of your .22’s back in your eye, don’t say I didn’t tell you it was coming. Karma’s a bitch.
Signed,
Curve Ahead Sign
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